A couple of thoughts....John 20 and Matthew 28...

I keep coming back to the fact that in the reading from John 20:19-23, Jesus sends out 'fearful' and 'fear-filled' disciples. He does impart the breath of the Spirit in them, but at the same time there is nothing to tell us that their fear has been removed or even lessened. Particularly when you read on and discover that one week later they are still 'locked' in the upper room.

Now this week in Matthew 28:16-20 we have the 'Great Commission' as it is so often called. Again it struck me here in verse 17 that when Jesus appears to the disciples some worship him, but some 'doubted'. Yet once again Jesus commissions these 'doubters' along with the 'worshippers' and entrusts them with his authority before sending them out.

So what does this say to me...well a couple of things.

First is that to be a disciple of Jesus, and therefore a witness for him, is not about having my act together. I can never get it all together. Not in life. Not in my spiritual life either. Being a witness for Jesus is simply telling my story, my encounter with this gracious and loving Jesus, openly and honestly with all my weaknesses and doubts there alongside times of strength and faith.

Second is a reminder that both in the John reading and the Matthew reading, I am not to be the object of faith. Nor is the church or even it's teachings. Jesus is to be the object and focus of faith. Jesus is to be the object and focus of my witness. My purpose and goal is to point people to Jesus and encourage them to find their personal relationship with him...not me...not my church...not my belief system.

Finally both of these stories from the life of Jesus highlight that Jesus has entrusted the gift of the Spirit and the work of his kingdom to ordinary people, just like me. Fearful and fear-filled at times. Questioning and doubting. But capable of acts of faith and faithful that can change the world and reveal the living Jesus.

One final question...a big one... "How?"

Simple really. You just need to be willing to make a difference wherever you find yourself.